One "Trick" to Taking Care of Others

The world is tough right now.  [Am I allowed to say that could be considered a downer here?]  There is so much uncertainty swirling around, especially regarding money.  Just one example: We found out that we are no longer being included on a Federal Food grant that provided free lunches to our summer camp children.  Since those lunches provide stability for many children, we will find another way to make them happen.  But it's tough!  One more challenge to overcome. 

We had a speaker, Matt Hendry, from Ridge Maine (one of our Sustaining Sponsors) in to lead a parent group and talk about the challenges of bringing up children. It was a helpful hour for me.  He presented ideas about relating with children in a way that made sense to me and gave me new ideas about how I can be a better father.  [By the way, he has committed to come again in May and June, 10am on the last Saturday of the month.]

One of the ideas that struck me hardest was the importance of self-care.  "You can't be at your best with your children if you are not taking care of yourself," he offered.  Sounded a little like the invocation from flight attendants to "put your own mask on first, so that you can help others who need it." 

When I feel overwhelmed with challenges, it's not a good feeling.  It's easy to fall into a never-ending circle of panic and despair.  The voice inside my head reminds me that I am not good enough to fix this.  Everything seems like it comes down on me at once.  The only way to get out of that circle, it seems, is to work harder, spend more time on finding a solution.  And that's when I must remind myself to take care of myself. 

In most moments, especially those of high stakes, self-care strikes me as indulgent and a waste of time.  For me, it usually means exercise.  I have to move and sweat.  Sometimes, it means loafing for a period of time, but that's rare and too easy to extend more than necessary.  I know that when I exercise, I sleep better, I think more clearly, and I am less emotionally reactive.  When I was in college, my best grades came during the spring, when I played lacrosse.  Even though it took 20-30 hours per week away from my study time, the chance to move and sweat every day focused me. 

Yet, I don't do it every day now.  Sometimes, I sit in my office thinking, "I should go swim."  And then I worry about what my co-workers would think when they see me leave my work.  I assume they don't see how it helps me.  I imagine they think, "He's not very dedicated to the WCY... he's more focused on himself."  I wonder if the person across the aisle would question my donning my own oxygen mask before I put it on my son.  Would they think, "What a selfish father?!" 

Matt reminded me how important it is that I take care of myself so that I can be at my best for others - my boys, my co-workers, this community.  We all need to do this. 

I am committed to being my best self as much as possible.  And I am committed to helping others do the same.  For some that means soaking in the hot tub to loosen up cranky joints or joining a Yoga or HIIT class to stretch or sweat.  For others, it means having a safe place to drop off their children so that they can work. It may simply mean hearing a welcoming, "Good morning" when they walk in the door, reminding them that they belong here. 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  (Maybe I am burying the lead here.) I know the WCY holds an important place in the mental health of this community.  Please use it to take care of yourself.  In doing so, you are opening yourself to be caring to others, too.